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Gentlemen, Please Turn Over Your Simp Card
There’s a difference between being a gentleman and using your simp card full-on. The former comes from a genuine place, while the latter reeks of inauthenticity.
Unfortunately, some men can’t help but exhibit simp behavior. They find it difficult to deviate from. So, how can they move away from those tendencies?
The answer? They have to grow out of it. They can’t change their luck if they don’t mature. Overcoming simping tendencies won’t be easy because there’s plenty to unpack and unlearn. But if they put the work in, they’ll eventually find it unnecessary.
Do you find yourself in this position? If so, we’ll help you turn over a new leaf.
What Does It Mean to Simp for Someone?
Not all of us are chronically online and updated with the internet’s latest and hottest (and that’s okay!). So, for those unaware, here’s a definition of the term:
Simping refers to overly submissive and attentive behavior people exhibit when they try to win over someone they’re interested in, even after clear rejection.
Here’s an example: Do you remember when Craigslist personals were a thing? Back then, some men would get so obsessed with matches that they’d throw away their lives for them.
Today’s romantic landscape isn’t any different from Craigslist dating. Some daters would still obsess over their matches. They go over their profiles and DMs for endless seconds just to get a whiff of them. And when their name lights up their phones, they drop everything else to focus on them.
Going above and beyond for someone is one thing. Doing that at the expense of your well-being is a risky endeavor.
Don’t Reduce Yourself to a Simp Meme
Simps are the subject of much online ridicule because of the negative perceptions surrounding their intense submissiveness.
With that said, why is simping bad? There are many reasons behind its poor connotations.
One, simping makes people act like doormats. It’s like they lack a spine and free will. The desperation for reciprocation causes them to let go of whatever self-respect and boundaries they have left. But the thing is, even if they do win someone over, they can’t guarantee they’ll stick around for long. They may like them now, but will they stay with them even during their lowest moments?
Two, they’re doing themselves a disservice. Because of reason #1, they end up neglecting themselves. They don’t care what happens to them as long as they’ve cared for the other person. It may seem selfless, but it's costing them their well-being.
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should put your life at a standstill. Real love doesn’t (and shouldn’t) limit you.
And lastly, they’re setting themselves up for a life of misery. Simping makes people put on rose-colored glasses and place others on a pedestal. Once the apple of their eye shows even the slightest deviation from the image they have of them, the disappointment breaks their hearts.
Revoke Your Simp Card for Gentlemanly Behavior
Simping isn’t worth the heartache and fatigue. If you’re feeling the effects now, the good news is you can still get out of it. Get back in the driver’s seat by taking these steps to heart:
#1: Acknowledge the negativity
You have to start somewhere, right? Put down your phone and listen up.
Recognize how simping is affecting your life, from emotions to relationships. If you don’t call out the elephant in the room, your road to recovery will be longer than it already is.
#2: Set boundaries
In a Men’s Health article, psychologist Sanam Hafeez says that simping puts people in “a place of obligation they never asked to be in.”
Liking someone doesn’t mean becoming their servant. You’re not obligated to be at their beck and call.
Don’t let the apple of your eye overtake your life. Know what you’ll tolerate and avoid, and learn to say “no.” Putting your foot down and drawing the line isn’t bad; it’s prioritizing your well-being.
#3: Press “pause” on dating
Simping dampens your dating life. Inauthentic behavior hinders genuine connections. Clingy behavior is a turnoff. And lack of self-respect creates an unhealthy power imbalance.
There’s no use continuing something that doesn’t give you positive results. Step back and take a break. It’s okay. Too much of something is never good, and having the awareness to press pause on love is brave. You can always jump back in once you’re in a healthier headspace.
#4: Put yourself as the top priority
Simping takes a lot out of a person, especially in the mental and emotional departments. Use your dating hiatus (for lack of a better term) to get yourself back in order. Practice self-care and keep yourself occupied with interests and hobbies.
#5: Look for healthier means of expression
Why use toxic coping mechanisms when you can go for healthier options? Expressing feelings doesn’t require harmful and dramatic environments. Write your thoughts in journals or seek help from professionals.
Do what you need to do without putting yourself in harm’s way. You don’t need to add any more negativity to your life.
#6: Give back to other loved ones
Love doesn’t stop at romance. Your friends and family still exist! Everyone can use people in their circle who’ll be there through thick and thin. Support systems do wonders for a person’s life, so keep yours strong and steady.
#7: Be thankful
Simping may have taken a lot from you. Fortunately, there are good things left in your life. You can lament what you’ve lost, but don’t let that stop you from smelling the roses now and then. Be grateful for the good things that remain and celebrate small wins.
Don’t live a life that forces you to settle for less. When you prioritize yourself, love follows. So, take your simp card out and throw it in the dumpster.
Once you've regained control over your life, aim for better and genuine connections. We can help you with that. Our matchmakers at Filipino Women facilitate your interactions with potential partners, ensuring you’ll form healthy relationships.
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